PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now it is time to move onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Well, this is unusual. Roxanne has two. But Tom and Adam each have three.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. So, Rox, is in third place.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: I'm in last place, Peter. Say last place. I'm in last class.
SAGAL: Very unusual.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, this means that, Roxanne, you are up first.
ROBERTS: OK.
SAGAL: The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. Following what they said was a credible terror threat, the blank school district canceled all classes on Tuesday.
ROBERTS: Los Angeles.
SAGAL: Right
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SAGAL: On Monday, it was announced that former Taliban captive and current "Serial" subject blank would face a court-martial on charges of desertion.
ROBERTS: Bowe Bergdahl.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: On Thursday, federal prosecutors arrested the friend and former neighbor of the blank shooters.
ROBERTS: San Bernardino.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: For the first time in the country's history, Saudi Arabia elected blanks to over 20 local offices.
ROBERTS: Women.
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: In a story that proves that Canada has police scandals as well, a judge has accused a Mountie of using blank force.
ROBERTS: Horse force.
SAGAL: No, he used not enough force.
ROBERTS: Oh.
SAGAL: This week, Alabama running back Derrick Henry was awarded the blank.
ROBERTS: Heisman Trophy.
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: This week, in order to motivate runners, marathon organizers in Taiwan hired a blank.
ROBERTS: Is this the "Star Wars" stuff?
SAGAL: It is not. It's a terrifying ghost.
ROBERTS: Are you serious?
SAGAL: I am not kidding - I am serious. Organizers of the Keelung Marathon in Taiwan were looking for a way to inspire runners to beat their personal best. So naturally they promoted effective training and healthy eating - kidding. They actually hired a woman dressed up as a scary ghost to jump out a chase runners just as they were passing the halfway mark. This means that for the first time in the history of marathon running, the guy with the bleeding nipples was not the scariest thing on the course.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?
KURTIS: She got five right giving her 10 more points with a total of 12. She has the lead.
SAGAL: All right. Well, they have flipped a coin.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Tom has elected to go next. Here we go. Fill in the blank. This week, global leaders meeting in Paris agreed to a landmark blank deal.
TOM BODETT: Climate deal.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: For the first time in nearly a decade, the Federal Reserve announced that it would raise blank.
BODETT: Interest rates.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: On Thursday, Russian President Vladimir Putin praised blank as bright and talented.
BODETT: (Laughter) Yeah, Donald Trump.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
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SAGAL: A new study claiming that British teeth are not nearly as bad as believed was published this week in the blank Medical Journal.
BODETT: The England Journal of Medicine.
SAGAL: Close enough. The British Medical Journal.
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SAGAL: This week, the PBS show "Family Roots" revealed that Bill Maher and blank were related.
BODETT: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: No, Bill O'Reilly. On Monday, the MLB voted to uphold blank's permanent ban.
BODETT: Oh, Pete Rose.
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: This week, Apple users are reporting that the iPhone's most recent update now autocorrects the word lard-[expletive] to blank.
BODETT: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: No. If only. It autocorrects the word lard-[expletive] to Kardashian.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Oh.
SAGAL: This is actually something you can see for yourself. If you have an iPhone. It only works for a little while before the phone learns what you're trying to type. But if you type in the word lard-[expletive] - all one word - the iPhone will autocorrect it to Kardashian. Bill, how did Tom do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Very well. Five right, 10 more points, total of 13, giving him the lead.
SAGAL: Well done, congratulations.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: All right, so how many then does Adam Burke need to win this thing?
KURTIS: Five to tie and six to win.
SAGAL: All right. Here we go, Adam. This is for the game. On Tuesday, House Speaker Paul Ryan announced a $1.15 trillion spending agreement aimed at avoiding a blank.
ADAM BURKE: Government shutdown.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: U.S. officials announced this week that they had struck a deal that would resume commercial flights to blank.
BURKE: Cuba.
SAGAL: Right.
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SAGAL: A Maryland man was charged on Tuesday with receiving almost $9,000 to help plan attacks for blank.
BURKE: For ISIS?
SAGAL: Yes.
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SAGAL: On Wednesday, Defense Secretary Ash Carter admitted he had briefly used a blank for his government business.
BURKE: Fighter jet.
SAGAL: That would be fun. He has them. A private email account. This week, police in San Francisco saved a woman who had been trapped in a blank for over 12 hours.
BURKE: A portable toilet.
SAGAL: And Ikea sofa bed.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bernie Sanders told The Huffington Post this week that he was already working on his blank.
BURKE: Obituary.
SAGAL: His inaugural address. On Thursday, the SEC arrested pharmaceutical Bro blank for securities fraud.
BURKE: Oh, I can't say his last name 'cause he just sounds like one of the bad guys from "The Dark Crystal." Skirelli (ph) or whatever?
SAGAL: Good enough. Martin Shkreli.
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SAGAL: Trump-Shkreli 2016. A drunk driver in Yorkshire, Britain, was caught by police despite fleeing his car and hiding in a blank.
BURKE: A nativity scene.
SAGAL: Very good.
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ROBERTS: Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The driver who had just crashed his car into a barrier reasoned that if he was able to stand perfectly still he could blend in with the mannequins in the nativity scene. The police who were chasing him were able to spot him almost immediately, mainly because there are only supposed to be three wise men in the Christmas story. And at no point does one of them puke into the manger.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Well, he did excellent. Five right, 10 more points, total of 13, tied with Tom.
SAGAL: All right. So Tom and Adam are co-champions. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.